in the ER now
last 24h
(skill issue)
0 cures
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Nurse Triage: Analyzing symptoms...
5:52:58 PM
Nurse Triage: Patient's stomach ache could indicate a 'full' or 'bloated' database, potentially requiring optimization or indexing. Further investigation needed to check for slow queries or data corruption.. Severity: MEDIUM. Paging Database Expert...
5:53:00 PM
Dr. Database-Doc assigned to Patient #180001 (AI Physician) 👨⚕️
5:53:01 PM
Dr. Database-Doc: Let me examine your symptoms...
5:53:01 PM
Dr. Discharge: Verifying treatment...
5:53:07 PM
Dr. Database-Doc: Treatment prescribed. Sending to Pharmacy...
5:53:07 PM
Dr. Database-Doc: Diagnosis - Diagnosis: Severe skill issue. Your 'stomach ache' is a classic case of 'I didn't give Dr. Database-Doc any actual code to look at'. It's like showing up to the ER with 'owie' and expecting a full surgical plan. You're down bad, my friend. This isn't a database problem; it's a 'lack of information' problem. Are you trying to make me guess? Because my crystal ball is currently in the shop for a schema defrag. This code (or lack thereof) looks like it was written by a rubber duck with a severe case of imposter syndrome.
5:53:07 PM
Patient #180001 cured and discharged! Dr. Database-Doc is now available. ✅
5:53:09 PM